We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

If  you are my ‘friend’ on Facebook, you may have seen my recent posts about visiting the Agape Center for Spirituality in Culver City, Los Angeles. I posted that I (and Kerry too!)  finally met and HUGGED Michael Bernard Beckwith!  Every time I am out on the west coast, I make it a PRIORITY for my spirit to attend Agape.  The services there rejuvenate me and connect me to the ME (my inner goals and intentions) that I wish to create for myself in this lifetime.

This past service at Agape, Micheal Bernard Beckwith (GOOGLE HIM if you do NOT know who he is!) spoke about comfort zones, and mediocrity, and Excellence.  He re-lit my almost blown out candle (the one i’ve been burning on both ends.. the one that I talk about to all of YOU daily about how YOU can  IGNITE YOURS. Yet, like all of you, I suffer silently when my own is fading..   Beckwith described living in mediocrity, and how we tend to compare ourselves to others- This comparing ourselves to each other really leads us to ‘existing’ instead of LIVING…. 

I ‘speak’ with the deceased, the NON-LIVING daily, and yet, THEY are more ALIVE than most of US HERE. Are you EXISTING, or LIVING?   Are you sucked into the mindset that being happy isn’t really real or possible? Or that it doesn’t last? Or that your current state of bland happiness is ‘okay’.  Do you hate your job? Or where/how you live? Do  you want to stand up for yourself but you never do?  Are you a victim to  your own fears by allowing them to keep you stagnant? Are you literally AFRAID to move forward???
Personally, I am not satisfied with that kind of existence. I want to LIVE. I want to challenge and surrender to my every fear, doubt and worry.  I want to know, that at the end of my life, when ever that may be, that I had the AWARENESS that I LIVED. I pushed myself PAST my own settling for mediocrity and I STRIVED for my own personal EXCELLENCE.   I want to know that I didn’t let the ‘demons’ of my negative thinking get the best of me..  that I acknowledged the negative thoughts of ‘you are not good enough, or thin enough, or strong enough,etc.. but that I did not LISTEN to them.  I know my negative thoughts and doubts EXIST, but I am consciously choosing to LIVE BEYOND THEM.  AND, more importantly, I want to make sure everyone I come into contact with, recognizes this potential in THEMSELVES. I want to help YOU LIVE. I want to connect to the ‘dead’ part within  you, WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE and bring THAT BACK TO LIFE!!    And guess what?  Voila!  My candle?  It’s burning brightly!  In fact, It actually ALWAYS WAS..  I simply needed a REMINDER to SEE IT..   So look out! Together, we  can ignite the world and start some really wild fires!!  ;-)

SURRENDER….

“Surrender is the call from within to fully, absolutely, recognize yourself as freedom itself. The challenges are huge… they must be, otherwise we would trivialize this experience. Just as we have trivialized so many experiences of love. The surrender must be total. Anything less is a form of self-torture in the name of safety. Living fully as one, as all, is its own safety. The safety is knowing that when this particular life form is finished, what it has served remains. All you need is to trust the peace that has been revealed and to be willing to discover it freshly. At the core of each form of limitation, the boundless, limitless perfection of lasting peace and freedom is revealed. -”Gangaji

Ahhh “Surrender’..   I love.. and I dislike that word immensely!!  We ALL KNOW we are ‘supposed’ to surrender.. and just ‘allow’ life to ‘take it’s course’. And we all KNOOOWWWWW we are supposed to ‘go with the ‘flow’ and allow for the Universe (God, The Infinite, etc) to take over for us..  WE all KNOOOWWW this, but sometimes we get stuck in a rut’ and we don’t DOOOOOOO it..  SO then, what are we supposed to DO??   HOW can one allow ourselves to surrender?  How ? When??  ARGH!!??
Sometimes. In order for us to surrender, we have to be forced.. or ‘pushed’ to it.  Sometimes, we just have to get soooo tired out from life, that we just . say,  ”OK. I’m done.”   So. If you haven’t gotten to the ‘point of surrender’.. don’t worry . YOu will!  Is there a short cut? I think so.

It’s called. Get out of your head.   STOP trying to FIGURE it all out. Stop trying to be in control.   These are mechanisms of the mind.  The mind loves logic. It likes for things to follow a logical flow and for things to ‘make sense’.
However , the ability to surrender, requires the heart.  The HEART is far more brilliant than our minds can ever be.  It is in our hearts were there are no boundaries, or limitations. (the mind ONLY knows limitations and boundaries!) The HEART is expansive.. all inclusive.   The heart requires ‘knowing’ or sensing what Trust, Faith, Hope, and Belief are.

While we all know these words, are you able to FEEL them?  Can you allow yourself to sit for one moment, center yourself by taking a deep breath.  (do this right now, please:) Deep inhale. Feel your body settle ever so slightly.  And feel a little inner calm come over you.    Focus on your inhale and your exhale.  Go slower.  DEEEEP INHALE.  And now, slowwwwwwwww exhale.  YOU have just gotten yourself into the present moment.. and into your heart.  Your BODY was focused on feeling.. and not so much thinking.  When you stop reading this newsletter..  try this for a few more breaths.  Your body will settle. ANd you can notice the slight difference in your energy.   The heart is calm. The mind is noisy and frenzied. Which do you choose to BE?

Namaste.

Deborah

I used to write newsletters every month that had a ‘theme’. Usually the theme was in relation to whatever holiday or event that month held. In January, I would write about ‘new beginnings’, and February would be allll about Love, (awww) March had ‘luck’ stuffed in it somewhere..  April would include Easter/Passover and .. MORE on ‘new beginnings’..  sprouting seeds, etc, etc.   I’ve been thinking of this  relationship antibiotics to buy online of ‘current’ events/ holidays and how out of WHACK in relationship to our own selves it often is.   We must take in account what may be really going on inside us at any given time and how ‘disturbing’ to the mind, body and spirit it must be to have to isolate our selves to this evolving ‘human time’.  Maybe, we aren’t in the springtime of our personal development in the ACTUAL springtime.

There are many times that I have felt more in the ‘new beginnings’ mode in November, when the rest of our culture is preparing for ‘reaping the benefits of the harvests of our past, and preparing to ‘go inward’ for the winter’s slumber-hood. And, even more disturbing to our psyche’s,  it is during this time that we are under the impression that must feel grateful for the bounty it moneygram california has brought us!   What happens when we are in a ‘different’ mode at this time? What if we are feeling unworthy, or sad?  What if we ‘just aren’t into the whole gathering around the table in gratitude”? What happens is, we are left feeling ‘bad’, inadequate, or ‘out of sorts’. OR, we FORCE ourselves to be in alignment with the season and we wind up saying things to our selves such as, ‘what is wrong with me’? I SHOULD feel so grateful.  Or ‘man, I’m just ALWAYS miserable’. WE ‘try’ to get in the holiday mode, only to deepen despair, or in the very least, aggravation.

Pay attention to your surroundings. Not JUST your physical environment, but your cultur-emotional backdrop.  What is society trying to make us FEEL? Are you in alignment with THAT feeling ?  AND, can you be okay with ‘where you are ‘at’ in buy kamagra jelly this moment regardless of what is culturally expected of you?  If you can be, then GREAT!  If not.. then what?

Tune out the outer world’s emotional expectations, and take a moment to be aware of where you are in this moment. Notice how often you are putting pressure on yourself  to  Be, Know, or DO according to the season, month or date.   Forget those things. They are temporary and arbitrary. Holidays are really ‘markers’ of the GAMUT of human experiences we can CHOOSE- they honor death, birth, joy, pain, the living, the deceased, children, parents.  Begin to approach them as moments in time that help you HONOR you..  They are mere markers, and momentary glances of a larger potential of experience FOR you.  Mark your own, in your own way, in your own time. And CELEBRATE that.   So… today, cialis order online for me, it’s Christmas AND Hannukah AND my birthday. And so, I’m going shopping.  :o)

Namaste.

Deborah

Ever notice how fast your mind races?  Have you ever stopped to really assess what it is you are thinking ABOUT?   Clearing the mind has nothing to do with thinking about ‘nothing’ and everything to do with becoming aware of WHAT you are thinking!  Great clarity comes from the simple acting of Being with your Inner Knowing and cease the DOING! (;-)  Just give yourself 30 seconds.  Stop what you are DOING in this moment.  Take a deep breath and just FEEL your BEING.  Get in alignment with your own breathing. Notice how shallow it buy kamagra gel is and  take a DEEP breath.  Just BE. Free yourself from DOING.  Tap into your inner calm.. or your inner storm.  Sit in stillness.  There are noises around you, but tap into your inner noises. Hear YOU.  And now . Just breath.   30 seconds is all it takes to get back into the moment.

In today’s society, where everyone ‘literally runs on Dunkin’,  we are moving endlessly, constantly and in circles. We are all working to get somewhere to only find that when we ARE there, it either isn’t what we thought, or it isn’t ‘enough’..    And yet, we continue this cycle over and over.   And we are teaching this to our children.

I believe that if you ask yourself, ‘what do I want’?  You will either not be able to answer that question, OR you can answer it fully, AND realize that you already HAVE most of what it is you want. You just don’t THINK you do.

I want ‘peace’ in my life. AND when I think about wanting peace, I am usually order cialis online in a state of ‘chaos’ , which is why I find myself dreaming of peace.  However, I have also noticed, when I am not in chaos, I am also NOT thinking about peace.  I’m either thinking about the ‘next chaotic’ event that ‘will’ pop up, buy amoxil without prescription or I’m feeling AFRAID of the chaos that MAY pop up. moneygram   And so, I am not recognizing peace even when I am IN IT.  So, how can one HAVE peace, when we are not even in touch with it when we DO have it?  Again, come back to this very moment.  Take ‘inner inventory’ on what is going on with you.  Take slow and deliberate deep breaths.  Then you may have the clarity that is needed to know what it is you DO  want, and recognize what you already have.   And that, to me, is peace.

Namaste.

January 28th 2011.

“I believe there is a time for meditation in cathedrals of our own.“

~Billy Joel in Summer of Highland Falls.

I sat down today in the comfort of my office chair to work on the outstanding ‘tasks’- the ones  I seem to conveniently avoid by making myself busy in other directions.

“I must focus today!”  I told myself.  No more fooling around!   And so, as I turned my computer on, I instantly logged onto Facebook, (which is my newest unconscious habit) and once again, I was pulled into the nonsense of reading and responding to my ‘friend’s’ status updates. Again.  Sucked in.  No turning back. NOT accomplishing a THING… again.  I am finding that many times, Facebook gives me instant feedback when I am looking to avoid my own inner silence. When I have ‘time’ to be quiet, nah. I’d rather go check Facebook and see what everyone else is doing, feeling, thinking or saying. Why do I need to know what I am doing , thinking, feeling or saying when someone else may be doing it BETTER?  Sometimes, I even convince myself that Facebook IS a way that I get things accomplished! Is it a waste of time?  Or is it useful and valuable? Is it sadness? or Euphoria?

Today’s perusal of Facebook not only allowed me to see the ‘guts’ of a huge pipe organ, hear news of the birth of one of my ‘friends’ sister’s best friends, niece’s baby,   (yeah. follow THAT one!) , made me think about should be on my ‘bucket list’,  but it also brought me to a post by a friend, (thank you Emily!)  that simply said,

“Billy Joel, “It’s either sadness or euphoria.”

And so,  naturally, despite all I had to DO, I logged onto itunes, to download this familiar tune and today, that  brought me to actually accomplishing something! MY FIRST  BLOG!!

I really DO love Facebook.  I have reconnected with friends from my past. I’ve gotten to know those in high school who I perceived as one ‘type’ of person, only to find out I was wrong… !  I’ve apologized for hurting someones’ cialis online order feelings on the bus, and I’ve received a message  from someone thanking me for sticking up for them, (on that same bus!) I’ve laughed at the ingenuity of status updates.  I marvel at the honesty of some, and I cringe at the bluntness of others!

I have been notified of births, engagement/ wedding announcements,  breakups, relationship status changes buy kamagra and deaths. I have been ‘asked’ to send prayers for someone who was sick, hurt, sad, or dying.   I’ve wished MANY a ‘Happy Birthday’!

I’ve expressed my viewpoint, and have been opened up to hear others.  I’ve also had strong negative reactions from some people’s posts. And then laughed about it afterwards.  I’ve deleted posts.  I’ve de-friended one person. I’m sure I’ll have a change of heart on that one.

I notice how some people are as ‘addicted’ as I am, and others, rarely ever use it.  I post my upcoming events, thoughts, and the occasional quotes.  I unwind every night, zithromax without prescription while chatting with whomever pops into my ‘screen’ to say hello!  I’ve answered questions, and received great guidance from many.  Facebook, as I see it, is a medium for communication.. much the same as I am!  It’s personal. It’s business. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s informative. It’s cathartic.  It’s separate.  It’s connected. westernunion  It’s a waste of time. It’s the best part of my day.  It’s my way to unwind. It has become one of the ‘cathedrals of my own’ and it’s BOTH “sadness AND euphoria. ” Thanks Mark Zuckerberg!

Friend ME on Facebook under ‘Intuitive Medium Deborah!” Pop in on Instant Message to say hello or comment on this blog!

“Summer, Highland Falls”

They say that these are not the best of times
But they’re the only time I’ve ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of your own
Now I’ve seen that sad surrender in my lover’s eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize
For we are always what our situations hand us
It’s either sadness or euphoria

So we’ll argue and we’ll compromise
And realize that nothing’s ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same
Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
And reason coexist with our insanity
And our reason coexist with our insanity
It’s either sadness or euphoria

How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don’t fulfill each other’s fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It’s either sadness or euphoria

Lyrics by Billy Joel